Love Letters to Kaleb from His Mamma

Kaleb, I write this to you as a love letter from a mamma’s heart. You have said things that have touched my heart on the deepest level. I have kept a written journal of the words you have said and things that you have done that have made me laugh, smile, and even wonder at the depth of your little soul. It is here that I share for you what I have written down. I will continue to add to this over the years, along with images of you that tug at my heart. I love you so much Kaleb my heart hurts it’s so full of love. Septemember 2012

2018

Me, half kidding and half serious, “Kaleb is there anything I have done as a mom to mess you up yet?”

Kaleb, No but I can tell you what will?”

Me, now very curious, “What is that wise Kaleb?” Kaleb, “Not to let me walk my own path and force me to walk yours. “

Me, “And what if your path is wrong? “

Kaleb, “I won’t be but if I am then I have to figure it out.”
Hi Mrs. McElfish,I just wanted to send you an email to tell you how much I enjoy having Kaleb in class. I just love his easy going, pleasant demeanor. It doesn’t matter what is happening in class; he’s always pleasant. He does his work without complaint and never gets caught up in any distractions that may be happening in around him. He’s just an awesome guy!
Sincerely,

Jody Dykes
We have a routine in the morning where the boys line up at my car to say goodbye for the day and get hugs and kisses. Kingston asked more hugs and kisses 5 times. On the 6th time Kaleb pulled him away nad said, “That’s enough departure for you.”
Kaleb, “Mamma, can we go get ice cream for desert?” Me, “Sorry sweetie, Mamma had a strong drink with dinner and I can’t drive. To bad.” Kaleb grabs my phone and hands it to me, “You have Uber eats.”

2017

Kaleb sees my phone ring, “Mamma someone is calling you from Ohio.” Me, “it can just go to voice-mail. It’s probably a bill collector anyway.” Kaleb, “Mamma, don’t become like Han Solo who owes money and has people chasing him from all over the galaxy.”
The boys got to eat food we don’t normally have at home at a party: chips, cake, brownies and other goodies.

Kaleb when we got in the car, “Mamma can I have carrots or something healthy when we get home?”

Me, “Why Kaleb?”

Kaleb, “My stomach hurts from all the junk food. You’ve purified me and my brothers to much.”
We were watching Trumps first interview as President. “Mamma, does he know he is orange?”
Konnor wanted to wear his camel water backpack into Sea World. I told him he can’t because places are really strict now about bringing in things like that. Konnor started saying it was stupid and unfair. Kaleb looks at him and says, “Come on Konnor, it’s for the safety of our country.”
Kaleb and Konnor get yelled at Disneyland for climbing on stuff. Kalebs friend asks him if he feels bad and Kaleb responds, “Naaa we are use to getting yelled at.”
“Kaleb please remove some of these stuffed animals on your bed. Look, you have giraffes with bears. They need to be separated.” Kaleb, “No they dont. They are living like in Pangeia when they were all on one continent.”
Me “Kaleb I need to cut your hair tonight.” Kaleb “No way! I want someone who is licensed.”
Haircut take #2: I talked Kaleb into letting me cut his hair. Kaleb looks at the mess I haven’t cleaned up from Konnor’s cut.
“I’m giving you a 1 star on Yelp. Look at this place! It’s messy, you aren’t licensed and you don’t have any magazines to read.”
Me, “Kyllian is such a big kid people don’t believe me when I tell them he just turned 3. They always think he is going on 5.” Kaleb, “Maybe he should always walk round with his birth certificate.”
While getting in the car with Snuz to drop him off Kaleb comes running out with my purse. “Mamma you forgot your purse!” Me, “I don’t need it Kaleb, I’m just dropping Snuz off and I’ll be right back.” Kaleb, “No Mamma, you need to take it. I’ve known you for 11 years and you never come right back. You always stop somewhere. Trust me Mamma, I know you best. Take your purse.”
Kaleb was being super mean to Kingston and picking on his size and calling him a snowman because he is pale and has white hair. I turned it on Kaleb and said, “People that belittle others are jealous and insecure themselves. Everyone loves Snuz, kids, adults, everyone. He has a tone of friends in Kindergarten and you only had two. Adults didn’t like you because you were whinny. Quit picking on him.” Kaleb’s response, “I’m not worried. I have a ton of fans.”
More thoughts of wisdom from Kaleb. I’m watching the OC Housewives, “Come on Mamma. They are overly dramatic grown ups that need to stop buying overly expensive items they don’t need with money they don’t have to look cool when they really need to just grow up. They are horrible actors. There is no real drama they just create it and act like children. They are always in a group together talking about stuff that causes drama. This is not appropriate.”
While driving a song came on that has clapping in it, so of course I clap along at the part. Kaleb to me, “mamma quite being irresponsible while you are driving! You can’t take both hands of the wheels and why can’t you drive straight without swerving to the side. You are 43 years old and have been driving since you were 16, you should be better than this. I’m only 11 and shouldn’t have to be telling you these things. What did you ever do before me?!”
Driving around trying to get a parking spot, people were cutting me off and being rude. I commented to the boys that it was sad people were acting so Grinchie. Kaleb’s response, “Well tis the season. “

2016

- We were talking about God/spirits/angles/ghosts vs things you can rationalize and see in the physical world.
  Kaleb’s response 3 min into the conversation, “Mamma you know your heart are your strongest eyes. The eyes of the heart see clearer then regular eyes. Even blind people can still see clearly through their hearts. I don’t just say things from my mouth mamma, I say them from the heart. That’s what makes it real.”

- This is the last year Kaleb will hear the Polar Express bell. On his list to Santa, his number one request is to have the blue prints of our old home so he can look at them everyday. He says if he can only have one thing this year that is the most important.

- Walking into Target with Kaleb he notices the new food court area. “Wow, this looks like the Target of tomorrow”

- Konnor was going on and on how I still owed him $10 for all his chores. I reminded him that we had bought a pokemon pack last week instead of giving him cash. Konnor kept saying he didn’t remember that. Kaleb chimes in, “Jeeze Konnor, even Dory the fish could remember that.”

- Me watching Kaleb playing with a pokemon stuffed animal, “Kaleb would you please get rid of that toxic filled piece of Asian made crap.” Kaleb with out missing a beat, “He is no longer Asian. He is a proud American. In fact Im going to get him a little American flag.” What does one do with that?

- Sometimes I think the Universe gave me Kaleb as my own personal Jiminy Cricket. Today I was talking to a friend about wanting to get a “reduction”. Later in the car Kaleb turns to me and looks at me fiercely, “Mamma, I heard what you were talking about today. Don’t know know that God made you perfect the way you are? He made your body like this and he doesn’t make mistakes.”

- Kaleb, “I want to go to church every week so that God will protect me.”
  
  Me, “Kaleb, going to church doesn’t mean God will protect you. You could never go to church the rest of your life and if God is in your heart he will protect you. Church is a building were you go to learn about God and how to love people.”
  
  Kaleb, “Ok, then I want to go to church every sunday because I want to learn as much about God as I can. Can you tell me more about him mamma.”
  
  Seriously……..Kaleb makes me speechless.

- Kaleb’s words of wisdom: Me “when I started jr high I wanted to fit in so badly but realized I just didnt.” Kaleb, “Mamma you did fit in, you just fit in with your own friends. Everyone fits in because everyone has there own group of friends. I fit in because I have my group of friends. The cool kids fit in because they have other cool kids to fit in with.”

- Making old school book covers. Kaleb asks if he can draw on it. I told him to wait until he is in class. His response, “mamma I cant do that, classtime is when we should be focusing.” He is so not my kid.

- Tonight I was just overcome with pure joy as I looked at all my boys. I told them “Boys, I have so much love for all of my heart feels like it’s going to explode and I don’t know where to put it all.” Kaleb’s response, “Mamma just put it in a back up folder.” Me, “What Kaleb?” Kaleb, “Mamma you know, like on a computer when the folder is full you make a back up folder.”

The boys pulled our their box of Build a Bear clothing last night to dress their bears in winter clothes. This led to them saying they wanted more bear clothes and maybe a new bear to dress up. I told them, “the last thing you all need is more bears and clothes.” Kaleb, “Mamma you had better take advantage of it now before its gone.” Me, “Before whats gone?” Kaleb, “Before I decide Im to grown up for build a bear.”

2015

“Boys I think if I could live any place it would be the state of Washington.” Kaleb, “that’s only because of Starbucks.”
I told Kaleb he would make a great pyhscologist because of his great advise and words of wisdom. I gave him an example of a problem to see how he would answer it. “Dr Kaleb my best friend wont return my calls and avoids me when i see them, what should i do?” Dr Kaleb answer, “invite them to a party.” Not a bad idea.
Discussing with Kaleb about who Martin Luther King Jr. and what he did. Kaleb’s response, “he is the man who made black not bad.” We are now working with him on how to phrase it differently.
Dear Lord what am I going to do with Kaleb and his sensitive heart. He just came home from the grocery store with BJ and runs up to me with a new stuffed animal. I gave BJ the look and he told me to hear the story first. The stuffed animal was missing an eye in the store. Kaleb wanted to bring it home so he could rescue it and give it a new eye. He said it was sad being hurt and left alone at the store.
Kaleb did a poster about Thomas Edison. The photos were pasted on all crooked and a bit sloppy. He knew I wasn’t happy about it, but he set me straight. “Mamma I like it because it looks like a kid did it and not a parent.”

2014

I was explaining to Kaleb about taxes last night after coming back from getting ours done. We got discussing deductions on our taxes (Kaleb’s new vocab word for the day) and how we got a deduction for every child we have. Kaleb’s take on that, “Oh, so the government gives money back to be nice to people?” Uh, ya, sure Kaleb.
Usually Kaleb says the sweetest things to me……….not last night. He kept pushing me arm up and down. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was flushing the toilet. I told him I wasn’t a toilet and he said, “Yes you are……..you are big, white and round.”
The other day we where watching something on TV about kids having to be taken away from their parents because of abuse. They mentioned the parents didn’t feed the kids. Kaleb says to me, “hey mamma you don’t feed us all the time.” I’ve been telling them to get their own food because of laying down on bed rest with this pregnancy.
Mamma was is old fashioned stuff so much more awesome than new stuff?
Kaleb’s words of wisdom for me today when he wanted a drink cup from an info commercial. I told him I’d read that they get mold…….His words, “mamma do not believe everything you read on the internet”.
Why is Kaleb always full of so much more wisdom then I have? Tonight for the first time I had a few tears over the fact I would never have a daughter. Kaleb saw me crying and asked what was wrong. I blew him off saying I was just tired and he said, “mamma I’m old enough to know the truth, what is wrong?” So I told him I was a little sad that I would never have a daughter. Kaleb’s response, “Mamma, God knew that you would do better with all boys. He knew you got along better with boys and that a daughter might have drama.” I don’t think I’ve hugged Kaleb in years as hard as I did tonight.
Trying on a dress at the store today and I ask kaleb, “does mamma look pretty in this dress?” “Oh mamma nothing can make you look prettier then you already are.”
Kaleb came up with the game Kyllian Tag. You take Kyllian in your arms and try to tag someone with him. Kyllian is 3 months old.
We see a homeless lady with a cat in vegas. I explained to the boys about homelessness and Kaleb says, “well at least she has a friend with the cat.” his response totally ignores what I’ve just told him.
This is how I woke up today. Kaleb comes into my bed and says. “I love you so much mamma. No one can replace you.” I asked him where he gets these things and he replies “my heart”. Some girl is going to be so lucky.
Kyllian is crying so I start patting his back. Kaleb says, “I guess if I cry hard enough I’ll get a free massage also. “
Kaleb “Mamma I think kyllian is the baby you lost. God had to fix him and then he could send him back to you. That baby wasn’t ready yet.”
Kaleb “I’m hungry all the time and I don’t know why” pause……”I know it’s because I’m going to be 9 next month and my stomach grew bigger.”
Kaleb to Kyllian and me, “mamma are you sure Kyllian came out of your tummy and didn’t just fall from a cloud because he is just so cute.”

2013

“Mamma you are a soft as a lamb”
Me to Kaleb “When I first met your father I wasn’t interested in him as a boyfriend.”. Kaleb, “did you just have to get use to him than you could love him?”
Ordering a large print for a client. I asked Kaleb which layout he liked best. I liked one that cut out some of the rocks from the picture. Kaleb said, “The rocks look good there. You need to leave the rocks. If you were a rock wouldn’t you want to be cut out of a picture. You would be a sad rock.”
Watching Life of pi with the kids. Kaleb about the Tiger, “mamma those don’t look like very friendly eyes.”
Driving home from toys r us I got the feeling I didnt pay enough for all the toys. I left the reciept in the shopping cart. “boys do you remember the man scanning all of your toys?”. Kaleb, “mamma lets stop worrying about it and just have our fun.”
Kaleb has been going to speech for the last year. I think we need to up his work in the speech area. Tonight we were watching the Bible movie. Kaleb asked us, “was King David a porn king?” We figured out he meant to say “portant” or “important” but for a few minutes I was really wondering about my kid.
I had the chance to walk Kaleb to school today. He held my hand and when he saw his guy friends he didnt let go of it to look cool but squeezed it harder. When i said goodbye he told me he wished I could walk him to school everyday.
We are getting a new dishwasher and Kaleb said that he would put the old one in his room so that his stuffed animals could have a shower.
Me “Someday Kaleb you will have your first kiss”.
Kaleb “mamma I’ve already had my first kiss”
Me “you have? with who?”
Kaleb “you were my first kiss mamma.”
Kaleb is just not a fan of scary. As he shared with me today, “halloween seems to gey scary every year. Pretty soon it will be so scary I wont want to go out on Halloween. “
Kaleb to me “why are you sad?” “I’m just feeling ugly today baby.” Kaleb’s response…..”mamma just because you think something doesnt make it true.” Wow…..words of wisdom from my 7 year old.

2012

Kaleb while watching a commercial, “direct tv is being really mean to dish tv. Dish can try harder to be better. Direct tv is hurting dishs feelings by saying all those mean things and that isn’t nice Mamma.”
“Mamma why do you like old fashion things and not new fashion?”
I mentioned about a baby who had died (miscarrage) and told Kaleb sometimes God has to take babies back to heaven because they aren’t healthy. Kaleb asked, “why did God make them wrong?”
Kaleb built a Lego ship. I asked him how he knew how to build it and he said, “Because I”m smarty, smart, smart. You have to have a head like me to know how to do it.”
“Mamma why aren’t you having desrt?” Me, “I’m trying to lose some weight.” Kaleb, “No mamma, I don’t like you skinny. You get tight when you get skinny. I like you like you are. Don’t lose weight you are perfect for snuggling like you are.”
I dyed my hair darker. Kaleb cried and said, “No mamma, now we don’t look alike. I want you to have yellow hair like me.”
Kaleb sleeps with his little New Testement Bible.
Brian and I were having a disagreement. Kaleb said we shouldn’t fight because it hurt Jesus heart.
“Mamma, why can’t I just be a normal boy? Normal boys play video games.”
Kaleb, Konnor and Kingston have all taken to singing every infocommercial for toys: Cuccle UpIts, Dream Lights, Pillow Pets and Stompies.
“Mamma don’t put The Snuz to bed, he is so much fun to play with!”
“I love to anger The snuz. It’s so fun.”
I was editing a bombshell girls photo. The girl had on a long sweater top. Kaleb asked, “Mamma, why did she forget her pants? Next time you need to remind her to bring pants.” Later he added, “Mamma you could just draw pants on her since she forgot them.”
Kaleb’s best friend hadn’t been at school for a week and I asked him if he missed his friend, “no, I have a backup friend.”
Kaleb decided to sleep with a box flattened out. I asked him why and he said, “I use it to cover me and keep me warm.” Note: we did provide him blankets he just wouldn’t use them.
Kaleb saw when Kingston chocked and turned blue. The next day he told me that blue was no longer his favorite color.
We are teaching Kaleb to earn money and save for toys he would like. I told him if he did more work around the house he could earn more money. “But mamma you work hard at your school and they don’t give you more money.” I explained to him about having a saleried job and selling jobs. At the end he said, “I don’t want to be on salery.”
“Mamma, I think they made Kingston too, too new at the hospital. He is running around more like crazy and has more new words.”
Kingston was dressed as Charlie Brown for Halloween. I went through Kingston’s halloween bucket and found a rock. Kaleb told me he put it in there because Charlie Brown got a rock in his bucket in the Halloween episode.

2011

I told Kaleb I didn’t want him to get bigger and to just stay my little boy. He said, “mamma I have to turn numbers. I have a lot of birthdays”
I was reading Kaleb a letter I had written to my Grandpa back when I was in my 20’s. Kaleb asked, “how are we going to get the letter back to him in heaven?”
“Mamma, I need a haircut because I”m going to look like Tangled.”
I asked Kaleb if he could have one wish what would it be? “That you would never die Mamma. I love you tooooo much it hurts.”
During Prayer time, Kaleb added, “Jesus please don’t let our hearts turn bad.”
Uncle Erik and Aunt Alison’s doggie died. Kaleb asked, “Is there going to be a service at church like they had for Great Grandpa.”
During the Christmas season we were doing Elf on the shelf. Kaleb whispered to me, “Mamma can I change in front of the Elf Tom? I”m not sure he wants to see my naked butt.”

2010

Kaleb 2 years old

I am trying to teach Kaleb about the baby in my tummy. He took my shirt, pulled it down over my tummy and said, “bye bye baby.” Later that night he said, “NO baby! Baby Go.”

Cute Things Kaleb said to his baby brother Konnor:

Coming down the stairs, Kaleb asked, “where baby?” I pointed Konnor out to him and he said, “Bab

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